Dungeon in a Table (DiaT) I: Ebet Necropolis Areas

The Ixian Liberation (Setting Story):

"Ebet of the Hundred Gates, Mistress of the River of Life, City of the Living God, has fallen to the hordes of Ix the Ninth, Ruler of the River of Death from Across the Poison Sea. Where are the heroes who can save this city and its inhabitants? Oh, woe!" -words scrawled on the Lime Wall of the Temple of the Everliving Cat by a nameless Ebeteen oppressor-priest in his own blood.

The PCs are soldiers or mercenaries in the army of Ix the Ninth. The conquest is done. Now it's open season on the thousand years old necropolis of Ebet.

"The charonic reed boats ply the River of Life, crossing from Ebet on the fertile east bank to the imposing limestone bluffs of the desert west bank. The carved visages of the ancient Naga King and the Minotaur Queen flank the Gash of Life and Death, a chasm in the cliffs through which the white steps built of the bones of the Ebetian ancestors lead to the City of the Dead, the Necropolis of Ebet." - Approaching the Necropolis, Holy Pilgrim Shortbook Guide to Ebet and its Fabulous Necropolis, 12th Edition, Year of the Dappled Plover of the Endless Reign of the 32nd Living God Amnesis.

Beyond the Gate of the Endless Circle the necropolis stretches to the west, centuries upon centuries of the death-worshipping dogs' tombs. Gold, precious stones, silks, oils, incenses, parchments, ivories, carvings, armours and weapons consigned to dry decay in this parched desert upland. Scum and vermin eked out their lives here before, the refuse of the slave-owning imperialists' cities. Now they have been joined by the opium peddling Ebeteen priests, their cowardly soldiers and the revolting refugees who would rather continue to resist the Glorious Evolution of Ix than accept the reason and order brought by the Red Army of Liberation.

DiaT Ia-c: Ebet Necropolis Areas, Outdoor Encounters & Terrain

Roll either d100 or d20 as preferred, the d100 roll will generally give a low chance of anything particularly interesting happening or being found and an approximately 20% chance of more interesting finds. The d20 is for when you're just feeling lucky. The table is a work in progress, I will modify this post as I add content.

Roll d100	Roll d20	Area	Outdoor Encounters	Terrain
1	1	Monumental ruin (+50*)	Vengeful shades, ominous poltergeists or grim dust devils	Water features, lush, lillies
2-5	2	Looted tomb (-20tr)	Necroplis scum, long-term dwellers in the necropolis, persecuted by the Ebeteen, gypsies, tricksters and thieves	Dry, cracked earth
6-35	3	Dirty, poor area (-20tr, -10*)	Feral rats, cats, dogs, beetles or other vermin	Scrubby grass
36-75	4	Common tombs (-10tr, -10*)	Desert Scum, come to the Necropolis seeking loot that rightfully belongs to Ix	Broken stones and rubble
76-78	5	The Barracks of Necropolis Maintenance	Ixian soldiers, mercenaries, commissars or overseers	Ashes and burnt buildings
79-81	6	The Temple of the Administrators	Ebeteen priests and their opium addled coteries and guards	Scrawny desert trees
82-84	7	The Ducal Tombs	Ebeteen terrorist fanatics, partisans or cutthroats	Brambles, tangled thorn bushes
85-86	8	The Tombs of the Scribes	Effete refugees, imperialists, scribes or administrators	Salted wasteland
87-88	9	The Princely Tombs	Common Ebeteen refugee trash, children, women or old men	Sand and dust choked
89-90	10	The Catacombs of the Hundred Worthies (€)	Hyenas, desert wolves, vultures, or other scavengers	Lush, maintained grass
91	11	The Tomb of the Saviour General (€)	Unlicensed looters, cannibals, bandits or body snatchers	Paved, stony
92	12	The Tomb of the Glorious Architect	Plague bearers, infected refugees, lepers or other filth	Dried up, dead vegetation, dust
93	13	The Tombs of the Viziers (€)	Lions, sand dragons, thorn crawlers or other predators	Ivy, marble ruins, trees
94	14	The Tomb of the Forgotten King	Necromancers, warlocks, witches or other soul-burned refuse	Rainforest, choking vegetation
95	15	The Temple of the Watching Cat	Worms, leeches, poisonous plants, beetles, grubs or other parasites	Date palms and ponds
96	16	The Tombs of the High Priests (€)	Skeletons, mummies, walkers or other mindless undead	Blood-soaked ground, withering vegetation
97	17	The Temple of the Son	Fakirs, juicers, dreamers and other living dead	Winding paths and plazas
98	18	The Queen's Mortuary Temple	Archaic constructs, golems, clockworks or other never-living abominations	Large dead trees
99	19	The King's Father's Mortuary Temple	Eaters of sorrow, drinkers of pain or other void monstrosities	Thick with gravestones
100	20	Temple of the Dead God (+20tr, €)	False god manifestations, risen false gods and other horrors of the Ebeteen mummified disaster of an afterlife	Lich field strewn with mummies and skeletons given up by the ground

As the 'heroes' wander the quarters (hexes) of the Necropolis, most of it is covered common graves with little treasure (penalties to treasure rolls). Some of the areas contain entrances (€) to the Catacombs where, rumour has it, the richest treasures of the older God Kings are still hidden. Encounters list common creatures, terrain adds some flavour to the area.

DiaT Id-e: Ebet Necropolis Difficulties and Strangenesses

This table presents some difficulties, traps, weird tricks and, well, weirdnesses the righteous Ixian warriors will find in the Ebet Necropolis.

Roll d100	Roll d20	Difficulties	Strangeness
1	1	Death ward on tomb protected by the Dead God	The remains of a giant foot, only the letters OZ can be read
2-5	2	An area cursed by the Ebeteen priests causing blindness, incontinence, hirsuteness, bloody flux or disfiguring boils and toads.	A crucified and manacled headless corpse cradles its head and points to glory (35%) or ruin (65%)
6-35	3	Shattered glass or masonry shards as caltrops	The writing's on the wall, in burnt blood letters 10 feet high.
36-75	4	Loose rubble slips and slides underfoot	The scent of orchids lies heavy in the air, disappearing when danger threatens.
76-78	5	Dust swirls and obscures vision	The water does not reflect and heals any undead immersed in it as a cure light wounds potion each round.
79-81	6	Monuments amplify sounds and echoes	The stone is friable to the touch, crumbling at the breath of the living.
82-84	7	Vile stench of death and burning cause nausea	Blood red mists hang in the air, obscuring visibility and raising tempers.
85-86	8	Fragile masonry columns and arches collapse easily	The laughter of long-dead children echoes among the graves.
87-88	9	Pit traps laid by the terrorist Ebeteen	Creatures slain in this area rise again as cowardly zombies after 1d4 rounds and attempt to flee.
89-90	10	Landslide traps in the ruins laid by terrorists	Wounds in the area simply will not bleed or heal.
91	11	A lair of venomous vermin or hungry flesh-beetles	Dolls. Many, many heretical ceramic dolls.
92	12	A poisoned spike trap laid by some scum or other	A shrine to the demons of lust of the Ebeteen, including a trove of clockwork phalluses.
93	13	Gluttinous mud, pretty much quicksand	An astrolabe that plays ethereal music when the spheres align.
94	14	Surprisingly deep water may drown the unwary	A box of poisoned chocolates that cause rapid tooth decay.
95	15	Weak floor breaks under impact or weight, opening into Catacombs far below	A wall of wondrous glyphs that restore life to a withered limb when lamb's blood is poured on them.
96	16	Cursed ground where the dead wake when trod upon	A magical fountain of waters azure that restores mana or spells.
97	17	A slide, Indiana Jones style, through the ruin	A slab of preservation that draws the juices from a corpse, preserving it for later.
98	18	Level-draining ward on a tomb, clearly marked	A clockwork goblin toy designed to amuse a dead princeling.
99	19	Electro-magnetic field wards with lightning	A rock crystal obelisk that removes the heart of he who touches it, letting them fight to -13hp, but become unable to heal naturally.
100	20	The head of a medusa in a box is a petrifying experience	A skull carved with a map leading to the Sunken Chamber of the Purple Sand Octopus God

DiaT If-h: Ebet Necropolis Treasure Values, Scrolls and Wondrous Things

This table presents the treasure values present in a hex (in approximate % of xp required to level - adjust value to taste), the scrolls column represents spells that could be found, the wondrous things column presents a list of generally useless but beautiful and valuable mortuary goods that may be found.

Roll d100	Roll d20	Treasure Values (% to level)	Scrolls	Wondrous Things
1	1	1d20%	Akaula's Drinking of the Blood of the Dead	An eversinging bird of gold and clockwork.
2-5	2	1d6-1%	Akaula's Control of the Pestilential Vermin	A silver teapot that boils itself and glitters in the sun.
6-35	3	1d4%	Shallit's Staunching of Wounds and Curing of Fatigue	A helm of bronze and crystal and ancient glyphs.
36-75	4	1d8%	Obat's Curing of Wounds	A shimmering armor of blue scales and gilded tassles.
76-78	5	3d10%	Lakhim's Curing of the Diseases of the Body	A cup of clay filled that ever refills with strong, sweet wine.
79-81	6	3d10%	Shallit's Setting of the Bones and Purification of the Teeth	A flute of bone that sets the dead to sleep.
82-84	7	3d10%	Obat's Burning of the Unclean	A lion steed of leather and steel and clockwork.
85-86	8	3d12%	Esbeen's Expulsion of Spirits and Curing of the Soul	A mechanical hand that reproduces whatever is written with a magical pen.
87-88	9	3d12%	Akaula's Pestilential Transformation	A glamorous crown that protects from sun and heat.
89-90	10	3d12%	Uzud's Servant of Sand	An intricate clockwork eye that grants infravision.
91	11	3d20%	Vorhad's Reduction of the Living Curses	A music box that plays the tunes of paradise.
92	12	3d20%	Esbeen's Words With the Dead	An axe of jade and ivory and electrum that destroys the unquiet dead and their nemeses.
93	13	3d20%	Uzud's Servant of Stone	A book of glistening, wet parchment that can be erased and rewritten upon as often as desired.
94	14	3d20%	Akaula's Turning of the Dead	A disembodied preserved hand that can play the strings of a harp.
95	15	3d20%	Lakhim's Restoration of the Petrified Corpse	A pair of silk and silver wings that allow one to glide like a vulture bird.
96	16	3d20%	Esbeen's Animation of the Mummified Dead	A marvelous toolkit of enchanted ivory, steel and stones.
97	17	3d20%	Uzud's Weapon of the Source of Life	A set of painted ceramic tablets of poetry.
98	18	3d20%	Akaula's Destruction of the Dead	A translucent alabaster canopic jar of eternal preservation carved with cats and moons.
99	19	3d20%	Uzud's Exploding Flower of Stone	A shield of stone and gold that is incredibly light to hold.
100	20	5d20%	Esbeen's Recalling of the Lost Soul and Reanimation of the Corpse	A clockwork and ruby necklace that summons imps and tells the time.

DiaT Ii-k: Ebet Necropolis Curses, Diseases and Monstrosities

This table gives three lists of more horrible things to inflict on characters.

Roll d100	Roll d20	Curses	Monstrosities	Diseases
1	1	Blindness	A scarab with gold and lapiz armor and a petrifying bite.	Leprosy, tzaraath, eczema or a mild skin condition.
2-5	2	Deafness	A large rat with emeralds for eyes and dripping fangs.	Rotting pustules, warts or boils.
6-35	3	Dumbness	A huge dog with a tail of stone and spiked steel.	Sunstroke or severe dehydration.
36-75	4	Impotence	A mummy with bones of silver and sinews of red gold.	Lice. The regular or the crotchety kind.
76-78	5	Evercrawling Lice	A sarcophagus with thirteen scarlet giant arachnid legs.	Sand itch, particularly afflicts wearers of metal armors
79-81	6	Delusions of Beautious Colours	A ghoul with the head of a lion and the arms of a minotaur.	Pneumonia or dragonbreath throat
82-84	7	Baldness	An Ebeteen terrorist with a dagger for a tongue and lizard claws.	Visitor gut (diarrhoea) or the bloody flux or dysentery
85-86	8	Castration of the Impudent	A vile heretic priest with the tail of a snake.	Dropsy or fluid buildup
87-88	9	Eversinging Desert Spirits of Sholoth	A desert dweller with no face and an obsidian blade.	Liver, gut or heartworms
89-90	10	Tightening and Drying of the Skin	A corpse of a woman who cannot die and calls all rats her babes and suckles them upon her bony ribcage.	Consumption or tuberculosis
91	11	Rotting of the Teeth	A giant lizard all hollow and filled with gold rings and copper charms.	Withering of the limbs, partial paralysis or meningitis
92	12	Evershivering Cold of the Dusty Grave	The front half of a fair-haired angel with the whole back of his body missing and hollow.	Sandtoad or Fleshbeetle, eggs and larvae
93	13	Withering of the Limbs	A statue with bleeding red eyes that always follow the shortest character in the vicinity	Gangrene or blood poisoning
94	14	Vomiting of Beetles	A headless horseman who whistles through his windpipe and rides a bone horse.	Blindness or deafness or dumbness
95	15	Repeated Passing of the Stones of Contrition	A dwarf with no beard.	Demonic posession, epilepsy or other madness
96	16	Inversion of the Feet	A bull with a human head that stalks the night, offering forgiveness and peace.	Virulent inflammation or high fever
97	17	Kasub's Declaration "Thine Head Shalt Be Up Side Down"	A cat with no fur and a human mouth growing on its belly.	Indigestion or bloody terminal haemorrhage
98	18	Sloughing of the Flesh	A large dead tree that drips blood and flesh from it's drooping grey dead branches.	The Slow Petrification
99	19	The Pillar of Salt Shalt Be Thine Nemesis	A pit filled with the chattering skulls of condemned Ebeteen prisoners condemned to stay chained to this world until their sentence is up.	Dirteating plague
100	20	The Everfollowing Flame of Hell	A giant rough stone pot filled with crawling clattering hands with eyeballs in their palms.	Deathwalker rabies

DiaT Il-n: Ebet Necropolis Armours, Weapons and Potions

This table gives three lists of nice-ish loot the "heroes" may find.

Roll d100	Roll d20	Armours	Weapons	Potions
1	1	Red chainmail of the Cult of Everflowing Life of Ebet	The Eating Flame Unguent of Obat	The Weakening Bile of Clear Vision
2-5	2	Crocodile skin and antler shield	The Alchemical Grenade or Vial of Poison	The Strength of the Divine Battle Frenzy
6-35	3	Light linen and leather armour studded with brass	The Spear or Dagger	Killer of Fatigue
36-75	4	Light chainmail and boiled leather guards	The Bow or Sling	Stopper of Wounds and Healer of Scratches
76-78	5	Ebeteen ringmail with silver tracery	The Sword, straight or curved	The Tremor Inducing Concoction Against Poisons
79-81	6	Heavy banded and scaled armour with lacquered guards	The Axe	Correct Unguent Against Parasites
82-84	7	Heavy brass and clockwork armour with ceramic guards	The Mace	Pungent Sovereign Glue For the Reattachment of Severed Limbs
85-86	8	Light armour of silk and spiderfish leather	The Noble Hafted Axe or Halberd	Glittering Drink of Heat Resistance
87-88	9	Heavy tapered brazen shield of the Solar Guards of Ebet	The Great Sword	Sustaining Drops of Liquid Ambrosia Against Dehydration
89-90	10	Ostrich plumed helm of the Midnight and Midday Watch	The Executioner's Great Axe	Disease Curing Waters Diluted With Seeds Of Soluble Mercury
91	11	Porcelain armour of the Doll Throne Guard	The Snake Priests' Staff	Paste of Tooth Restoration and Hair Strengthening
92	12	Spunwire electrum armour	The Golden Hollow Dagger of Venom	Tonic of Strength or Mind or Dexterity
93	13	Heavy coldsteel chain of heat resistance	The Silver Bow of Burning Pain	Salve of Protection Against Draining
94	14	Glowing green shield of the Oasis Knights Resplendent	The Sword of Severing of the Accursed	Red Wine of Protection Against Sorrow
95	15	A glass and ivory helm of the Clear Mind and Watchful Eye	The Axe of Glorious Decapitation	Accursed Ebeteen Beer of Drunkenness and Villainy
96	16	Glyphed heavy tile and bronze armour	The Heat Wand of Urnumu	Blue Jelly of Vital Restoration
97	17	Sand Octopus leather armour.	The Thundering Rod of Urnumu	Green Jelly of the Virulent Toxic Kiss
98	18	Silver plate armour.	The Searing Staff of Urnumu	Black Lotus Juice of Forgetfulness and Joyous Slumber
99	19	Golden chainmail.	The Gleaming Brazen and Black Iron Maw of Shrapnel and Doom	Kingsblood Potion of Curse Cleansing
100	20	Jewel studded dragonleather armour.	The Polearm of Divine Fire and Cutting of the Dead God	Solution of the Ashes of the Honoured Ancestors Providing Invisibility to the Dead

DiaT Io-q: Ebet Necropolis Tabular Grab Bag: Random Hazards, Crossing the River, Trying to Buy Stuff

This table is a poorly sorted set of almost random stuff dealing with the Necropolis of Ebet and Ransacked Ebet under the Just and Popularly Ordainer Rule of Ix the Ninth.

Roll d100	Roll d20	Hazards	Crossing the River of Life	Is What You Want to Buy Available in Ransacked Ebet?
1	1	Shade Marked - drawing blood will darken the sky and draw hungry ghosts.	The God of Death drowns the handler's reason and he will try to drown all his passengers in a whirlpool	No, and it might be illegal and you may be wanted by the authorities now.
2-5	2	Noxious - disturbing the soil will unleash noxious fumes in the area.	Boat handler is an Ebeteen terrorist and will try to mislead his passengers, increasing Necropolis danger	No, and you attract the attention of some nasty cutpurses.
6-35	3	Flammable - wood and refuse in the area may catch fire.	Boat handler is grumpy and charges a princely 10 silvers a head.	Nope.
36-75	4	Crumbling - buildings, tombs and death pillars may start collapsing.	Boat handler is kindly and charges only 10 silvers a head.	Yes, but it's of shoddy quality or ridiculously expensive.
76-78	5	Dust Bedevilled - raising dust clouds will summon dust devils.	The boat springs a leak and must be bailed constantly to make it across	Yes.
79-81	6	Hungry Waters - blood in the waters will summon Gorks.	A small but valuable item is stolen by the boat handler's innocent looking daughter	Yes.
82-84	7	Rumour Tainted - rumours of gold incite great greed in this area	The boat handler tries to sell his brother's "handsome" wife to buy food.	Yes.
85-86	8	Melancholy - strenuous activity in the area provokes a melancholy miasma	Unless given a tip, the handler will alert Ebeteen cutthroats to the PCs location.	Yes.
87-88	9	Malarial - staying too long weakens the body and poisons the mind	A voluble handler will chat and talk of treasure and offer rumours. All false.	Yes.
89-90	10	Watchful Stones - motion will alert the Watchers of the Dead	The boat is stopped by Ixian inspectors, the PCs must show their Authorization of Reappropriation of Treasures Stolen From the People of the Two Rivers or pay a steep fine.	Yes.
91	11	Vulture Marked - sleeping creatures will attack soul eaters and gold thieves	The handler has a lead on high quality alcohol in an Ebet taphouse ... And high quality wenches to hollow out the any purse.	Yes, a superior version is also available.
92	12	Echoing - any noise in the area will echo and reecho for several minutes	The handler will sell his house out of desperation.	Yes, a superior version is also available.
93	13	Weeping - any loss in the area will provoke inconsolable weeping and anguish	The handler is an Ebeteen nobleman in disguise.	Yes, a superior version is also available.
94	14	Gaze Removing - memorizing or noting down what is seen in the area will turn the eyeballs into water.	The boat is attacked by a riverine Sand Octopus	Yes, a superior version is also available.
95	15	Forgettable - staying too long in this area will begin eating away memories.	The boat stinks of rot and decay, there is an Ixian body in the ballast hold.	Yes, a superior version also available at the same price.
96	16	Great Magnetic Field - clashing metal weapons will activate a great magnetic field which will begin to turn living flesh into steel.	The handler has fine fish to sell, though they may cause a worm infection or the yellow flux.	Yes, a superior version also available at the same price.
97	17	Withering - fast movement or exuberance will activate an ageing and withering curse.	The handler is dead when the opposite bank is reached.	Yes, a superior version also available at the same price.
98	18	Blood Jungle - any blood spilled will bring forth blooming thorn vines and bushes to choke the ground.	The handler jumps overboard in the middle of the current and is swallowed up by the waves.	Yes, a superior version is available for a lower price.
99	19	Hazard of the Beasts - food left in the open will attract the Eater of the Hearts of the Unclean and the Evil.	The handler can take the PCs directly to a Catacomb entrance.	Yes, a superior version is available for a lower price.
100	20	Truth - attempting to pray in this area will result in the vile abominations of the Ebeteen gods revealing themselves to the character and corrupting his mind with lies.	The boat sails through a shimmering veil into the Realm of the Dead, the Ferryman demands a tithe to release the PCs.	Yes, and a friendly stranger offers you a magical version for free, no strings attached.

I will keep adding tables to this ... I mean, we're only up to Q ... there's still r-t, u-w and x-z to go at least.

XII: Petromancer or Geolosage

Fyodor hammered his tempered pick through the ancient stone. When he finally broke through the weathered petrified face of the ancient beast it seemed a dam gave way and a flood of old burnt clay tablets knocked him off his platform and to the sandy ground below. He came to and saw scattered about him the lost magics of the legendary petromancers of Petra, the city in the stones.

Starting spells

1. Soften (Std., Close)     a small area of about 2x2m of earth or rock becomes soft and friable, if it is wet it turns to mud. (+1ß) a larger area of about 10x10m softens.
2. Stoneskin (Std., Touch) (1ß) one living creature's skin becomes hard and resistant as stone, granting DR 5 and resist 5 fire, cold, necrotic and poison. The target also becomes slow. Lasts until the end of the encounter. (+1ß) lasts about half a day.
3. Petrify (Std., Touch) (2ß) vMD, one item or living creature touched turns to stone, items worn do not turn to stone. (+1ß) range increased to long. A petrified creature may make one save per day to turn back to normal.

Later Spells

1. Shapestone (Non-c., Touch) at the caster's touch stone becomes soft and malleable, letting the caster mold and shape it easily. (20 xp)
2. Passwall (Std., Close) (1ß) the caster modifies the structure of a section of stone large enough to admit creatures in single file so that he can pass through it. The stone returns to normal one round after the caster has passed through. (30 xp)
3. Explosive Stone (Std., Touch) the caster increases the pressures inside a fist-sized stone, making it explosive until the end of the encounter. A thrown explosive stone bursts in a close blast, dealing 2d6 damage. (+1ß) cast as minor action, the stone deals 3d6 damage but is more unstable and will self destruct in 1d4 rounds. (15 xp)
4. Earthquake (Non-c., Touch) (1ß), requires explosive stone, the petromancer increases the pressure on a larger scale, over several hours priming an area for an earthquake. It is generally only a gentle tremor (3 on the Richter scale or so), but by involving more cosmic forces it's power can be increased greatly (+1 on the Richter per +1ß). (50 xp)
5. Stone Golem (Non-c., Close) (2ßr), requires shapestone, the caster can craft a stone golem servitor or guardian. (60 xp)

Stone Golem. 40hp, 10 AC, 5 DR, 18 MD, +0 Sav, Slow, +5 slam 1d12+6. Notes: DR 5 to all special attacks. Immune to necrotic and holy. Can also serve tea with great precision.

20 Magical Cauldrons

1.     The Great Cauldron of Life - a massive cauldron of silver and bronze worked with care and craftsmanship to depict stags, lions, fruiting trees, rich fields, scenes of love and care, childbirth and growth, rising suns and moons. Its ancient sides bear a light patina, but smoke and soot does not seem to be able to accumulate upon the cauldron. It is suspended upon an electrum chain hung from three poles, one of ivory, one of ebony and one of gold. To use, it must be filled with water from a holy spring, the seventeen healing herbs of St. Ivraepius and twelve spoonfuls of the red salt of Chaldea. Once this mixture is boiling, a corpse should be put into the cauldron and the Three Hymns of the Triple-Mother Goddess recited. The fire below the cauldron then goes out and the holy soup flash evaporates in a cloud of pungent steam. The corpse inside is returned to life, healed of all its wounds and ills, naked and hairless as a newborn babe.

2.     The Crucible of Essence - a large, jet black crucible of some black magmatic stone studded with tiny sparkling crystals and carved in strange, stomach-churning abstract diagrams. The lid is heavy and carved with similar designs, though the handle is of bronze and a white ivory condenser is sprouts from one side. The crucible can be used, along with the instructions in the Tome of the Soul Stripper to render essential spirits from whatever object is placed within. If an object is simply placed inside, without any magical spells incanted, and the crucible is heated, the object is rendered to a fine, concentrated essential fluid, which may be collected with a golden vessel from the spout of the condenser and used for further spells requiring those material components.

3.     The Alembic of Peppi - a glossy alembic made of woven strands of obsidian and gold, standing on four obsidian legs carv’d to resemble the legs of a bull, a lion, a man and a lizard. This powerful magical container, when heated by hemlock and tawny oak wood mixed with the resin of the senescent pine tree, will transmute and concentrate any alcoholic beverage introduced into it. The effective amount of alcohol contained is effectively increased tenfold, allowing a 50% spirit to become as intoxicating (and flammable!) as though it were a 500% spirit, with no deterioration in taste or flavouring. Myths say that the alembic was discovered by the Archmage Brewer Peppi on his journeys through the membranes between the Old Worlds.

4.     The Pot of Gold - an apparently ordinary little kitchen pot of black iron and with a creaky handle. When this pot is filled with at least twenty pounds of gold a rainbow suddenly shoots up from the pot. Anybody affected by at least a feather fall spell can walk along the rainbow, traversing as much as 20 miles through the sky. Admittedly, the pot generally does not come along for the walk.

5.     Cauldron of Cornucopia - a massive 500 lb cauldron carven and polished entirely out of glimmering green emerald, it is always full of fresh, raw fruit, vegetables, fish and meats. The cauldron can hold a total of 200 lbs of food. Whenever food is removed, it is slowly replenished, at a rate of 1 lb per hour. The food inside the cornucopia never spoils. There are rumours of a red cauldron of cornucopia, which is always full of peeled and pulped tomatoes.

6.     Caldron of Cerridwen - a large, scorched and pitted cauldron worked with bone and plant motiffs. Any freshly dead body placed inside the cauldron together with vinegar and stones struck by lightning will rise from the dead, ready to continue it's battles. However, though these revenants are intelligent and remember who they were, they cannot speak and have no souls. A deceased soul that would be restored to life after its body has been animated by the Caldron must have a separate body prepared for it, for the magic of the Caldron forever prevents the restoration of any soul to the animated body. A caldron revenant does not actually die and has to be fully destroyed by fire or acid to stop it moving.

7.     The Chamberpot of Hychïenos - a chamber pot of translucent alabaster enchanted to sterilize anything placed into it. It neutralizes the smell, sound and taste of any object placed within and dissolves 1 lb of matter into sweet smelling vapours every hour. It can hold up to 10 lb of matter at once.

8.     Cauldron of Invulnerability - a huge cauldron of bronze etched with swirling, chaotic designs. Any creature that bathes in boiling water within this cauldron must make a save vs. death. If it succeeds, the waters do not boil it (and kill it), instead it becomes invulnerable to mundane weapons and attacks for 7d7 days. Just being completely submerged in boiling water, before jumping out, deals 6d6 damage. An inorganic item placed in its boiling waters gains a +10 bonus against attempts to break it.

9.     The Evercold Vessel - a cylindrical cauldron of matte, silvery material that feels vaguely cool and slick to the touch. It contains seven silvery-blue spheres 1 lb in weight each and may hold an additional 60 lb of matter. The temperature within the vessel is adjusted by the spheres. Without spheres, the vessel keeps all contents at 10°C. Each sphere kept in the vessel lowers the temperature by 10°C.

10.  The Steaming Bowl - a simple clay boat coated in slime, that seems perpetually damp. When it’s circumference is stroked thrice, it begins to emit steam. It can be used to broil vegetables or to power a turkish-style sauna.

11.  The Basket of Hands - a basket woven of blood-red thorn bushes and reeds. Any severed hand placed in the basket reanimates when three drops of lavender oil are applied to it. It then follows the orders of the caster like a mage hand. The hand remains animated for 1d6 days, thereafter lavender oil must be applied daily to keep it animated. 1+INT modifier hands can be controlled by the caster.

12.  The Casket of the Skull - any skull or severed head placed within this jewelled casket is preserved from further decay and, if the brain is still relatively intact, reanimated and kept “alive”. Entertainment may have to be provided for the poor bodiless soul in the casket to prevent madness from boredom. The casket comes with a convenient crystal slit, which can be opened giving the occupant a view of the surroundings.

13.  The Pot of Pot - a porcelain bowl decorated with silver and electrum designs. It is always filled with a brownish, odiferous powder. When heated, the pot begins to give off a smoke that induces euphoria, loss of muscle control and occasional nausea. The smoke spreads to fill a fifty foot radius, though wind can disperse it. The smoke naturally disperses five minutes after the pot ceases to be heated, or more slowly in particularly poorly ventilated areas.

14.  The Bowl of Holding - a bowl of bronze wrought with seven nymphs that function as handles and supports. The bowl of holding can contain up to twenty times its volume of liquids or loose material (up to 4,000 pints worth). The bowl weighs 20 lbs plus the weight of whatever it contains. It is particularly popular at symposia and other drinking events.

15.  The Bone Cauldron of Voices - a cauldron made from the skull of a giant. Any organic object that is cooked within it will absorb the voices and sounds in the vicinity and reproduce them when sprinkled with lemon juice. Bones are the most common encoding medium.

16.  The Druids’ Golden Cauldron - a mighty artifact of pure, heavy gold ornamented with symbols of mistletoe, trees, hanged men, moons and stags. When any potion is prepared using this vessel, it doubles in effectiveness and grants a +2 Strength bonus on top of its general effects. Some say the cauldron is pure myth.

17.  The Black Pot of Aberration - a pot that holds about seven gallons, it is plain and black, giving off a chill, unearthly cold. Organic material placed inside is transmuted into an amorphous, mutant spawn-foetus combining the properties of the creatures and vegetables that were cooked within the pot. Fed with blood for a period of not less than thirteen days, the spawn will squirm out of the pot, ready to obey (more or less) the commands of it’s creator and baker.

18.  The Crystal Cauldron of Gasping - a cauldron shaped out of a single block of translucent rosy quartz, etched with depictions of the 121 all-seeing eyes of Omniocchus the Very Awakened. When filled with quicksilver and lightly heated, the shimmering mercury fumes rising from the cauldron create a vision of a far-off place. A skilled telemancer can use the fume-vision to also transport messages, for inorganic materials that do not react with quicksilver may pass through the mercury veil - for example, a clay tablet with a chiselled message may be thrown through. Living creatures passing through the mercury veil are usually killed by mercury poisoning. Caution! The cauldron should be used in a well-ventilated space with little wind and the viewers should have their own air supply to avoid mercury poisoning!

19.  The Copper Cauldron of Power - an unassuming, middling-sized cauldron etched with geometric patterns and sporting a green patina, the cauldron extracts magical essence from sacrificed objects (and the hearts of sacrificed creatures). After the objects or hearts are boiled for seven hours and the sacred chants of Manomnos are repeated 666 times the liquid within begins to glow. At that point wands, rods and staves immersed within the cauldron regain expended charges. The DM should rule how many charges a particular object or sacrifice restores.

20.  The Enamelled Cauldron of Cleansing - a colourful cauldron of cast iron enamelled in bright colours with depictions of ducks and cows. Any garments or items thrown into the cauldron and boiled for not less than ten minutes will emerge dry and spotlessly clean. If herbs are added to the water, the objects emerge smelling politely thereof. Some myths speak of this being the very cauldron in which Morgana boiled the loincloth of Arthur after he had faced the Unclean Knight of the Brown River.

The Best of All Possible Worlds (Setting)

*This is an outline of a setting for a game I will begin running tomorrow. Due to time constraints (work) I needed a setting that was simple, fast and easy to run—while leaving plenty of scope for all kinds of wacky ideas, room for players to drop out for a session or two, etc. I borrowed heavily from Dan Simmons' Illium/Olympos duology—a fantastic bit of science fantasy for those who haven't read it yet. It had already inspired a previous setting, but this time I needed something simpler and more basic, with a harder and faster discontinuity between civilization and wilderness.* -LR, 20.07.2013

#OUTLINE (this may mostly be fairy tales)

In the far off mists of time the Great Ones realised that all was not right with the world and that the Chosen suffered great iniquity therein. Thus they gathered them up, body and soul, and reshaped the world to suit the immortal souls of the Chosen.

Truly, they made the best of all possible worlds for them—a cosmos of possibility bent to the will and wisdom of the Chosen.

Truly, all would have been good.

If the Chosen had been the best of all possible people.

The Chosen rebelled against the Great Ones, and the Great Ones paid them no heed.

The Chosen quarrelled and fought against one another and the Great Ones paid them no heed.

The Chosen travelled through space and time seeking the Great Ones, but they paid them no heed.

And when their travelling ships returned, rats and worms and creeping and crawling things of mere matter returned with them, and the serpent—they thought—thus entered the Best of All Possible Worlds.

The Chosen faded into the world at last, becoming tenuous and thin, wispy things of little consequence, for the world ceased to be for them alone.

Their pillared halls sank into the jungles, their gleaming boulevards strewn by the tides, the mountain fastnesses tumbled into the gorges, their great roads covered by deserts, their gilded statues flaked, peeled and crumbled.

The rats who had travelled back with them crawled out of their holes and beheld the world they had inherited. They beheld and they were men.

#GENERAL GEOGRAPHY (pillar portals! safe havens! wildernesses!)

The best of all possible worlds is a world as many others, but to the men of the world that geography is not a vital constraint, for their world revolves around the Pillars of Choice - mystical pillars of metal built by the Chosen for rapid teleportation from location to location. Any man or woman must merely tap in the two digit code they wish to go to, and they are instantly whisked away there, along with up to their own weight again of matter they are wearing or holding.

Humans live around many of the Hundred Pillars, though some are in cold wastes, others in jungles, yet others in deserts. The greatest of the pillars are Forty-Two - also known as the Ever-Eating Hole - and Ninety-Nine - also known as the Sky-Garden of Heaven.

Within a radius of ten miles from each of the Pillars the Servants of the Chosen, constructs of steel and leather, patrol the land, keeping it safe from marauding beasts and monsters (though not interfering in the lives of men). The Servants generally ignore humans, unless directly threatened by them.

Beyond lies the Wilderness of Forgetting.

Most men say that those who venture beyond the Patrol are mad, bad or worse.

The worst penalty in most human communities is exile beyond the Patrol—a fate of almost certain death.

But there are some peaceable enough madmen who appear ever and again, cajoling the sons and daughters of stout, unimaginative farming folk to wander beyond the Patrol...tempting them with tales of Ruby Mountains and Towers that Stretch Endlessly Into the Sky.

And more.

#HISTORY (it's like the Shire! Hobbitses! Only the rangers are leather-and-steel faceless constructs...)

History is something that rarely happens among these latter-day men, for the world is good. The Patrols hold and wars between Pillar-Settlements are few - for only one traveller can cross a pillar at a time, making their defence a rather easy matter.

Most people are illiterate and view reading and the sciences as something that detracts from important things, like farming, cooking, carousing, eating and having a jolly good bucolic time—with many pies.

Many still speak of the unlucky time two generations ago when Mad King Korùn took five hundred men beyond the patrol to attack Pillar 5 from Pillar 4. All but three of his men perished and brought back horrific tales.