Tuesday, March 18, 2014

d100 Bizarre and Horrible Magics

I hate elves. Elves are poncy. True faeries are fucking scary. And inhuman. And vile.

They are called the Viladrines by some archeomancers and simply The Vile by the humans, dwarves and other mortals that they call, with their flair for poetry, Cattle.

d100 Horrible Magics of the Viladrines



  1. Animation of the Fallen Warriors of the Enemy Upon the Field of Blood and Pain
  2. Curse the Kingdom
  3. Shrivelling of the Wombs of the Unforgiven
  4. Living Forest of the Green Face
  5. Kraken Creation
  6. Vile Philactery of the Suffocation of Souls
  7. Curse of the Seven Generations
  8. Plague of the Falling Fingers and Shrivelling Appendages
  9. Create Pocket Universe
  10. End Offensive Life of the Fate-cursed Ones
  11. Mists of Terrestrial Transportation
  12. Eliminate Human Vermin
  13. Animate the Mountain
  14. Create Soul-Mill
  15. Dancing Lights of Maddening Mysts
  16. Draining of the Vital Fluids and Life Forces of the Cattle
  17. Cull the Herds
  18. Entwined in Vengeance of Transcendent Putrescen
  19. Become the Dragon of Destruction
  20. Feed Upon the Hopes and Dreams of the Cattle Children
  21. Embracing Shadows of the Evermocking Slumber
  22. Summon the Thorns of the Ravenous Green Hunger
  23. Melt the Cattle into the Ooze of Raging Acid
  24. Create the Castle of Enchantend Marble and Bone
  25. Rainbow of Fire and Gold
  26. Steal the Faces of the Enemy
  27. Corrupt the Bodies of the Offensive Cattle
  28. Plague of the Rotting Flesh
  29. Final Summoning of the Sarcophagus
  30. Animate the Plains and Rivers
  31. Force the Souls into the Weapons
  32. Eat the Souls and Squander the Afterlives of the Mortals
  33. Loss of Centuries and Everweeping Sorrow of Loss
  34. Summon the Skiff of the Rivers of Time
  35. Lay the Green Land to Desert
  36. Level the Mountains
  37. Crack the Sky and Summon the Colourless Fire of the Rainbow
  38. Plague of the Vile Zombies
  39. Summon the Warriors of the Dragons’ Teeth
  40. Refine the Souls of the Slain Into the Bread of the Immortal Hero
  41. Imprison the Demon Soul in the Rainbow Sword
  42. Rip the Veil of Worlds and Unleash the Essence of Chaos
  43. Plunge the Land Into the Void
  44. Invoke the Planet Smasher
  45. Step Through The Veil of Green and Blood to the Lands and Times Beyond the Rim of the World
  46. Summon Ice Age
  47. Bring Forth the Flood to Wipe Clear the Sinful Hordes
  48. Transform Vermin Into Salt
  49. Bring Forth Immortal Life From Dust
  50. Drain the Waters and Bring the Death of Thirst
  51. Invoke War
  52. Corrupt the Seed to Bring Forth the Rustling Walkers
  53. Bind the Minds of the Cattle in Eternal Delirium
  54. Summon the Elemental Storm
  55. Surf the Swirling Chaos
  56. Grind the Skulls of the Offending Ones to Armor the Hearts and Souls of the Fae
  57. Plague of Amnesia
  58. Rainstorm of Everrecurring Nightmares
  59. Summon the Worm that Eates the Bones of the World
  60. Awaken the Island that Swims
  61. Create the Living Tower of Flesh and Sinew and Blood to Rule the Ignorant Masses
  62. Invoke the Divine Right of Fae Overlordship and Enslave the Populace
  63. Crushing Humility of the Mortal Before the Divine Fae
  64. Plague of the Hunger for Flesh
  65. Curse of Malignant Immortality
  66. Corrupt the Mortal Seed to Create the Bestial Servants of War
  67. Make the Rivers and Seas Run Red With Poisoned Blood
  68. Sink the Land in the Vengeful Waters of Doom
  69. Awaken the Volcano Elemental
  70. The Star Falls Upon the Sinners Like the Hammer of the All-father-mother
  71. Curdle the Milk and Bring Sterility and Impotence Upon the Wicked
  72. Blind the Eyes of the Cattle Who Stare Upon Immortal Beauty
  73. Feed Upon the Tears of the Innocents to Sculpt the World
  74. Possess the Bodies of the Enemy Horde
  75. Create Eternal Love Slaves
  76. Summon the Swirling Mists of Ignorance
  77. Bring the Night Eternal
  78. Excavate Glittering Fortress of Mirrors and Crystal
  79. Transform the Cattle into the Pigs that They Deserve to Be
  80. Awaken the Iron World Tree of Heaven
  81. Send the Realm Into The Slumber Eternal
  82. Melt the Waking and Nightmare Worlds Together
  83. Amputate the Magic from the Undeserving Cattle
  84. Awaken the Beasts of the Earth to Battle for their Masters
  85. Invoke the Mother of Monsters
  86. Expand the Curling Dungeon of Chaos into the Realm of the Offensive Ones
  87. Blind the Dwarves and Cattle With Greed and Gold-lust
  88. Invoke Famine
  89. Shield the Valley From the World
  90. The Shimmering Veil That Wipes the Minds and Steals the Souls
  91. Share the Corrupting Forbidden Knowledge that Melts the Cattle’s Mind
  92. Step Through Stone and Bone and Wood to Safety and Sanctuary
  93. Summon Blood Elemental from the Butchered
  94. Fill the Night With Howling Terrors and Hunt the Wretched Fools
  95. Summon Field of Barrows and Wights
  96. Make the Stones Walk and the Ley Lines Shift
  97. Restore the Wilderness and Annihilate the Filth of Civilization and Corruption
  98. Walk the Planes and Feed Upon the Emotions of the Mortals
  99. Occupy the Multiple Bodies of Thine Fallen Foes
  100. Enforce the Transcendent Tranquility of the Unified World-Mind